Just as willpower is an essential factor in achieving success, at some point in time, discouragement and lack of motivation may hinder you from reaching your objective. And it is up to you, and you alone to devise techniques that will help you keep that drive within afire. It is helpful to have visual goals. whatsoever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time.
Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your spotlight.
Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep mental lists instead.
Putting something in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give yourself once you have accomplished the task.
After all, everyone likes to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a simple pat on the back, “good job”, or “thank you” may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available. Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own through pleasing yourself.
Abusive people lower your self-esteem and bring you down. Get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think happy thoughts.
These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than wait for things to happen, try to be proactive and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.
Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others' experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.
Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.
Having enumerated all these tips and tricks to attain self-motivation, but still you seem to feel lacking that much needed drive, there is one last thing that you must try.
Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, JUST DO IT! Keep on aiming high and go for it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal. Divide and conquer is the key.
Break down the apparently unattainable activity to small doable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the "in the meantime" results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.
Lack of motivation happens to us all, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.
And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
How To Stop Negative Thoughts
Thoughts have power. As we think, so we become. If we allow negative thoughts to dominate our mind, we will be frustrated, unhappy and lacking in inner peace. If we can stop negative thoughts, we will will be able to see the beautiful, even in the mundane; we will be able to attain peace of mind, even in the turmoil of everyday life.
Be Committed
The very first step is simply the awareness that you want to stop your negative thoughts. Unfortunately, there is a part of us that holds on to negative thoughts; if we didn’t consciously or unconsciously invite negative thoughts we wouldn’t have them. For example, we sometimes hold onto negative thoughts out of self-pity; we have to be careful of this. If we strongly value the benefit of rejecting negative thoughts we will be able to do it.
Be Aware.
Another problem is that negative thoughts can often slip in unnoticed. We allow negative thoughts to spiral around in our mind and don’t have the discipline to reject them. Always be conscious of your thoughts, and don’t allow your mind to wander down a path of negativity. Feel that when you allow negative thoughts into your mind you are staining something very beautiful. Take time to periodically review your thoughts so that it will become more instinctive to be aware of your own mind.
Positive Visualisation.
Only by our positive thinking,
By our bringing the positive qualities
Of others to the fore,
Will this world be able
To make progress.
The most effective way for countering negativity, is to throw yourself into the opposite – which is a positive view of life. Don’t focus on a person’s minor misdemeanour’s, but focus on the real self, the part that is divine. If you are frustrated how society is at the moment, visualise how society can change into something beautiful. By thinking of the positive and by feeling divine qualities of love, we will not want to harbour negativity. Don’t feel you are fighting negativity, but just growing into a better world-view.
Negativity Hurts yourself.
Much negativity is focused on other people – colleagues who annoy us, friends who disappoint us, politicians who fail us. We wish to blame and criticise other people we come into contact with. However, as we gain more experience, we come to feel that our own negativity unmistakably returns to its source. The failings we see in others are merely some part of our own larger nature. When we realise that negativity towards others returns like a boomerang, we will naturally be more compassionate, forgiving and loving. By being kind to others, we are really being kind to our more illumined self.
We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.
- Lord Buddha
Meditation
Sometimes, when sitting down to meditate, I just allow thoughts to pass by and I act as the observer of the thoughts. This allows myself to be aware of the thoughts that I produce; it also enables me to see thoughts as separate from my real self. By simply observing thoughts that pass by your mind, you will be able to see them as passing, transient objects – separate from yourself. With this perspective it is much easier to reject those you don’t want.
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Scarcity, Giving and Abundance
As a profession I teach Economics. The first lesson of economics is the concept of scarcity. Because we have scarcity we have to decide how to distribute these limited resources. If you gain some goods, that means less for me. This law of economics we can also feel in all aspects of life.
However, from a spiritual perspective this law is completely misleading. When we give wholeheartedly and with sincerity, we enable ourselves to have more. If we offer good will to others, if we can give others joy, then this is the best way of being joyful ourselves.
Anything we do for the world
Is bound to be returned
Infinitely more.
- Sri Chinmoy
If we think there is only a limited amount of love, we will try and possess it; we will love another, but in a limited and possessive way. With this conception of love, we will always fear losing it; we will fear that our limited love could easily escape. However, if we love unconditionally, if we love everyone we meet, we come to appreciate that it is natural to be loving all the time. To love others, we have to have love for ourselves. This is not an egotistical love; it is a recognition of our divine essence, our real Self. If we feel love and joy to be scarce commodities we will try and ration it and grasp onto it when we see. But, when we learn to give unconditionally, we gain more of what we give. As St Francis of Assisi, concisely put: “For it is in giving that we receive.”
Attitude to Money
If we see others in need and offer financial assistance, we learn the value of giving. This confidence to give to others in need, helps us to attract money into our lives. It is only in cheerfully using money that we can feel wealthy. I used to work for a boss who was a multi-millionaire. However, he was very miserly; he would turn off the heating and lights to save a few pence. He couldn’t give anything to anyone. He had stacks of money in the bank, but he felt poor. His millions gave no joy because he couldn’t spend it.
Giving with Sincerity
If we give to others with the hope that we will get in return, this is not sincere joyful giving. When we give with this attitude, there is a fear our giving may not pay dividends. With this attitude, we don’t really know if we actually have joy to give; it becomes like a bargain. This is not effective. If we give unconditionally, we do not need or expect anything in return. Giving is its own reward. Whether it is misused or not returned doesn’t matter – because we know that giving selflessly helps us to do and become the right thing.
Learn by Teaching.
Love cannot remain by itself — it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into action, and that action is service
- Mother Teresa.
I always tell my students that the best way to revise / learn is to teach others. If you just read the same notes, it is hard to make progress. However, if they take time to explain something to others, then there own understanding and comprehension increases significantly. It is the same principle in life, what we teach and give to others is the lessons we will learn ourselves.
If we judge others, we will feel judged ourselves. If we offer happiness to others, we will be happy ourself. If we are miserly towards other people, we will feel miserly ourselves.
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What Do you Want to See Today?
Quite often we feel that what we experience and see is something that happens to us. This experience depends on other people and the rest of the world. But, we have a habit of seeing what we want to see. If we want to see conflict we can see it in any aspect of life. If we want to see beauty we can also see that.
As soon as we wake up, we start creating our view of life. If you could start your day once more, what would you like to see.
Be Conscious From When you wake up.
What is the first thought you have on waking up? If you had one seed thought for the whole day what would it be? Would it be worrying about getting to work on time, what to have for dinner in the evening? Why not choose a thought which you will inspire you for the rest of the day. At least, make it positive.
Positive Image.
In my room, I try to keep flowers, I also keep a picture of my spiritual teacher, Sri Chinmoy. These are the things which inspire me most. When waking up, I look at these first. It is simple act, but it shows that we can choose to keep around us the positive and beautiful. From this we will get inspiration and keep in a positive frame of mind.
Give to Others What You would like to Receive yourself.
If you would like to receive joy and happiness in life, try giving it to others. What we give is what we will receive. If we offer forgiveness to others, you will be able to receive forgiveness for ourselves. If we are critical towards others, we will feel judgemental about ourselves.
If your life does not give joy
To others,
Then how can you expect
Your heart to give any joy
To you?
- Sri Chinmoy
Stop – Do you Really want to Focus on That?
Invariably, our day will be spoiled by some unwelcome negative thoughts. If left unchecked these can take us on a negative spiral. We have to stop these thoughts and be clear this is not what we want to see.
Good Qualities
No one is perfect, there will always be things that have the capacity to annoy us. But, we have to be unaffected by this. If someone is annoying us, then we have to try another way of looking at things. Let it go, choose to see the good in them.
From now on,
I shall see
Only the good
In all human beings.
- Sri Chinmoy
Feel Thoughts will come trues Immediately.
Just imagine that whatever you thought or wished became reality immediately. If you imagine inwardly arguing with someone, feel this would occur. If you feel thoughts would come true immediately, you would be very careful what you wished for.
Underlying Thoughts
To really see what we want to see, don’t forget to be scrupulously sincere and honest. Sometimes, we have an underlying thought or desire for something. Perhaps part of us gets a subtle sense of joy from conflict. Part of us has this injured pride when bad things happen. Ironically, part of us holds onto this. We may not even be aware that we are holding on to this unfortunate experience. Be careful of your underlying thoughts and impressions.
Take Time to be Grateful
Heaven on earth doesn’t have to be just a dream. If we are in the right consciousness, the simplest thing can give us so much joy. If we can be grateful for these good things, it will definitely help us to see and appreciate the good in the world.
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Sunday, March 13, 2011
Quotes on Inner Peace
January 12th, 2011 | life | Posted by tejvan -
If you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality.
- Sri Chinmoy
Related Article: Seven Simple Steps to Inner Peace
Once we have this inner peace, world peace can be achieved in the twinkling of an eye.
- Sri Chinmoy
My inner peace
Does not select anybody,
Does not reject anybody.
My inner peace
Always self-givingly projects itself.
- Sri Chinmoy
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
- Peace Pilgrim
“Possession of material riches, without inner peace, is like dying of thirst while bathing in a lake.”
- Paramahansa Yogananda
“Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities, and so on.”
- Dalai Lama
Freedom from desire leads to inner peace.
- Lao Tse
A smile is the beginning of peace.
- Mother Teresa
It isn’t enough to talk about peace, one must believe it.
And it isn’t enough to to believe in it, one must work for it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Thursday, January 13, 2011
How To Be Free – Inner Freedom
What Does it Mean to Be Free?
Having just sat through an insipid world cup performance by my team England, I have realised how my mood can easily be disturbed by 11 football players failing to pass a football ball as well as I expect them to. I mean they were dreadful, but, should I be letting myself be affected by things outside my control? Well the world cup is only every four years, and I will always be a glutton for punishment (by nature I’m an optimist – I can’t help but always think this time we can win). But, football aside, we need to develop an inner freedom, a state of mind which can be free from the innumerable worries and anxieties of life. Real inner freedom is a state where we can remain unaffected by disturbing thoughts and ideas.
Socrates once went to a noted sage. The sage told Socrates and his followers that Socrates had all the human limitations of anger, pride and jealousy.
His followers were shocked and interrupted to criticise the sage, saying they saw Socrates as a saint. However, the sage, said, ‘let me finish. It is true that he has all these negative qualities, but Socrates doesn’t let them affect him.’
As we aspire for a better life, human weaknesses will continue crop up. We cannot remain totally unaffected by old thought habits and emotions. However, we don’t have to give our acceptance and full support to these negative thoughts and emotions. We can feel these negative thoughts and emotions as separate to our real self. If we see these thoughts and emotions as separate and outside our self, then we can remain free from there power. We can remain centred in our real self. This is the secret of inner freedom because we can detach from thoughts and emotions that drag us down and round in circles.
We can have all the outer freedom we want to live exactly as we want. But, if we unable to let go of jealousy and insecurity, then we are not free to be inwardly happy; we will be constantly limiting ourself.
It is the nature of desire to remain unfulfilled or be disappointed. The more desires we have, the more prone to disappointment we will be. There are still good things to aim for. There is no harm in aspiring to be a better person and to achieve worthwhile goals. But, to limit material desires, and desires from other people lifts a great pressure off our state of mind. If we have innumerable desires we always feel a sense of dissatisfaction until they fulfilled in our own way. We can become a slave of our desires, making us sacrifice worthwhile principles to get what we want. Yet, even when we get our desire, we soon realise it isn’t the secret of inner peace and contentment. Inner freedom is to be the master of our own desire.
Friends, society and government consciously or unconsciously place expectations on our behaviour, attitude and actions. There is a pressure to conform to certain pre-conceived attitudes. If you look over the past 100-200 years, you can see how concepts of morality and reasonable behaviour are constantly changing. To be free from these subtle pressures is essential to give us our inner peace and enable us to be inwardly free.
To be free from peer pressure doesn’t mean we have to be the natural born rebel, always trying to shock people; this can become it’s own ideology. Having a shocking hairstyle is not the be all and end all or symbol of inner freedom. The real secret is the inner attitude. It is to quietly question prevailing values like materialistic goals; it is to have the self-confidence and inner faith to live as we feel inwardly inspired.
“What is false freedom? False freedom is our constant and deliberate acceptance of ignorance and our conscious existence in ignorance. What is real freedom? Real freedom is our conscious awareness of our inner divinity, and our constant inseparable oneness with the Inner Pilot.”
- Sri Chinmoy (1)
To be really free, we have to be able live in our real self. The self that is spontaneous, happy, non-judgemental and cheerful. It is the childlike quality we all have within us. It is this source of human creativity and real joy. We have all felt this at some times in our life. We feel uninhibited and can access that creative aspect of ourselves. We can know this real self through living in the heart – living away from the critical mind; it is something we can access through meditation and contemplation. The irony is this inner freedom requires discipline.
Related
(1) Excerpt from The Tears Of Nation-Hearts by Sri Chinmoy
Photo Tejvan,
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How To Develop Will Power
What is will power? Will power is the ability to do what we set out to do, without being sidetracked by doubt, hesitation and temptation. Will-power is the soul force which enables us to transcend the limitations of our self.
A person without will power is easily swayed and influenced. Without will-power we can feel a helpless victim to circumstances, other people, and our own thoughts.
To develop will power is to develop greater self-control and release our own hidden potential.
Exercise the Muscle.
Will-power should be seen like a muscle. If we train our muscle it gets stronger. If we don’t it gets weaker. Will power is not a heredity condition. It is something that we can develop.
Clear Focus.
Will power involves being one pointed and achieving a certain goal. If we are not entirely clear what we want to do, it is difficult to focus our will to doing it. When we attempt to do something, we need the co-operation of all parts of ourself. Don’t be in two minds, but decide exactly what you need to do and stick to it.
Will Power For the Positive.
It is better to develop will power for a positive goal, rather than using our will power to negate something.
“The easiest way to use will-power is to take the positive approach. Use will-power to do something positive, not to keep yourself from doing something negative. If we say, “I shall not tell a lie,” that is important. But if we say, “I shall tell the truth,” that will-power is more effective. When we say, “I won’t do it,” already the negative thing has half its power just because we are thinking about it. If we repeat in our mind, “I won’t be jealous,” the word ‘jealous,’ the negative quality that it embodies, ruins our mind and then we do become jealous.”
- Sri Chinmoy (1)
Ignore Silly thoughts.
It is human nature, that when we attempt something, silly thoughts appear in our mind to try and put us off. These thoughts have to be ignored. We have to see them as foreign entities. If we listen and accept every silly thought that comes into our mind, we will have no will power because our hyperactive mind will pull us in many different directions.
Concentration
Concentration and will-power are closely linked. If we develop our concentration which is our ability to remain one-pointed, we are at the same time developing our will power. See: Concentration exercise.
Never Give Up.
Will power doesn’t mean we have to always achieve at our first attempt. If we get pulled off our target, pay no attention and don’t allow despondency to enter. We need to keep trying. Persistence and patience are essential components of will-power.
Make It Easy Not Hard
If you want to give up smoking, avoid situations which encourage the craving. If you want to have the will-power to avoid chocolate, you wouldn’t buy the most tempting chocolates and invite your friends to come and eat them in front of you. Will-power also involves common sense to help us achieve our goal.
Understand Benefits and Costs.
To achieve something we need to understand benefits and costs. If we truly value what we are aiming at then we will develop the perseverance to continue struggling for it.
Will-power is one thing, but it also has to be directed in right direction. Napoleon undoubtedly had great will-power, but that doesn’t mean we have to become another Napoleon. Often the most important use of will-power is using it to become a better person. It is to be free of our own limitations fear, doubt and jealousy. This will-power to be happy is definitely worth growing.
Related
Effective Ways to Get Out of A Negative Mindset
(1) Sri Chinmoy Speaks Part 5
Photo Pavitrata Taylor, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.
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Managing Time Effectively
In modern life, time seems to weigh down on us; sometimes time passes laboriously slowly. At other times we have too little, leading to a frenzy of hectic activity. How do we get the right balance and make time work for us, rather than being a slave to the clock?
Create Your Schedule.
“To choose time is to save time.”
Francis Bacon
Often we slip into a mood of passive resistance. We don’t have much clear plan so we start to surf the internet, or channel hop. We go from one site to another because it is mildly interesting, mildly humorous. Before, we know it we have got sucked into an experience of reading much information, but, not really doing anything constructive or valuable. At each moment, we can inwardly decide what is the best thing to be doing – and then do it wholeheartedly. This doesn’t mean we become productivity zealots, always achieving something. No, we may just want to relax or appreciate some simple activity. The point is that if the best thing is relaxation, we should do it wholeheartedly and not be holding onto things we ought to be doing in the future.
Don’t Wish you Were Somewhere Else.
You can spend all your life wishing you were somewhere else or doing something better. But, once we start on this track it is hard to ever be satisfied. To really gain the secret of inner peace, we need to learn to be content where-ever fate puts us. The secret is to take whatever we do and give it our full attention and priority. If we do even mundane things with the right attitude we can be happy.
Every Second Counts.
“A moment’s love
Can and shall
Make the world perfect.”
- Sri Chinmoy
Every second, every moment can be sacred. We don’t need to be in a temple or on a mountain. The world needs our good will and positive vibrations, exactly where it is most difficult. We can offer goodwill to anyone, in any place. We don’t have to wait for a nice, inspiring person. It is easy to offer good will to these people. If we can offer good will to those who are unloved and unappreciated (and not particularly nice people) we will make a huge difference to both ourselves and other people. Each second is an opportunity to do something worthwhile. If we look upon time in this light, we will make better use of it.
Avoiding Stress
“Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side. “
~ The Talmud
Modern life make it easy to be stressed. Many people feel they have too many demands on their time. It becomes difficult to keep on top of the competing pressures. First we have to be easy on ourselves. Don’t try to be superman or superwomen, we can only do a certain amount. People will have to accept that. We shouldn’t feel guilty because we are unable to keep up the appearances of having a second subtle body to multitask… The best way to avoid stress, is just to take the most pressing issue and do it as best you can, when that is completed, move on to the next issue which needs dealing with. At least this way, you have started prioritising and you are working on one thing at once. Often by creating a plan and workflow it becomes more manageable and you can actually get more done.
Time to Yourself.
Every second counts, so can we really justify spending 30 minutes in absolute calm and stillness? Of course! If we really want to create time for ourselves, we will find it is definitely possible. It is a liberating experience to set time aside for meditation or moments to yourself. It gives a greater balance to your life and gives the necessary inner peace to deal with the outer world.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Don’t Blame The World
Do not
Blame the world.
Find
A solution.
- Sri Chinmoy
Human nature often wants to blame other people and the rest of the world for our problems. How many times do we think – if only? But, complaining never makes us happy, nor does it solve our problems. If we can learn how to look at a problem, half its strength goes away. What are the solutions to our problems?
Is it Really a Problem?
Often our problems are imaginary, we perhaps feel slighted by someone else, we fear others are thinking ill of ourselves. In these situations it is the emotional vital that is affected by pride, jealousy or insecurity. But actually, most of these emotions are just our imagination. It is not a real problem we have to deal with, but, our own passing emotions. If we can let go of these imaginary problems, it will be a big weight off our shoulders.
The Mind Exaggerates
The mind has a tendency to exaggerate the extent of a problem. If you allow your mind to think about the problem in circles, the problem becomes magnified out of proportion. If we are able to get out of this train of thought by doing something completely different we can almost forget all about the problem.
Success and Failure
We apt to value only success, and when things are easy. This is understandable, but, to make any appreciable journey there will always be difficulties. In the life of Abraham Lincoln so many setbacks he had. Yet, in a way these setbacks were essential parts of his life experience, that made him the person he was. Similarly, difficult times, force us to bring some disguised quality to the fore; it gives us extra strength and inner reserves. A setback or failure is not just an unsolvable problem, but part of the bigger cycle of life.
We Are Only Responsible For Ourselves.
Do you want to change the world?
Then change yourself first.
Do you want to change yourself?
If so, remain completely silent
Inside the silence-sea.
- Sri Chinmoy
The only person we are responsible for ourselves is ourself. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves. Usually, human nature instinctively is drawn to the faults of others, and we ignore the metaphorical plank in our own eye. Thus we always see insolvable problems.
We can love the world without expectation, but, we can never expect the world to rise upto our perceived standards.
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How To Create A Better Life and Future
Often we feel powerless, a victim of circumstances. Yet, other people seem ‘lucky’ they are able to attract fortunate events and positive people. On some level, we do have much creative power. Unfortunately, we are using this creative energy in a negative way, creating difficult relationships and difficult circumstances. Yet, we can create much better circumstances if we try.
Feel it is Possible.
We need to have faith a better world is possible. If we have faith in negativity – that will be our experience. If we have faith in a positive experience, then we will be able to experience that.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
– Albert Einstein
Choosing To Be Happy.
Having faith in a better life is also choosing to have positive experiences. We constantly have a choice of how we react to events and how we think. One way will give us more joy than another, yet for certain reasons we don’t always choose the attitude that gives happiness. Therefore we need to make a clear and conscious decision to be happy.
Constant Practise.
It is not enough to say on one occasion – ‘I’d like to have better circumstances’. This single, positive (and rather feeble) thought will soon be outweighed by the countless negative thoughts and negative expectations that we will have. It is like a weighing scale, at the least, we need more positive thoughts and feelings than negative thoughts.
Gratitude.
The great saints and mystics frequently talk about the spontaneous gratitude they feel. The mystic sees the beauty and joy in the world. By being grateful to the joyful and beautiful, we are able to attract exactly that. Soulful gratitude has tremendous creative power. Also, don’t just be grateful for what you have experienced, be grateful for the beautiful things you will experience.
Cultivate the Beautiful and Good
If we try to fight negativity by negation, we can go around in circles. If we constantly think ‘I must stop being a negative person’ we can reinforce the impression of our own negativity. It is much better to visualise and concentrate on becoming a positive and kind person.
Uplift Others.
I am very happy
Because I have conquered myself
And not the world.I am very happy
Because I have loved the world
And not myself.
- Sri Chinmoy
We will never create better circumstances at the expense of others. If we feel we will be happier by embarrassing and criticising other people, this is not a real improvement in happiness. It is a false happiness that relies on success at the expense of others. The easiest way to make our circumstances better is to be a more thoughtful and caring person. When we put others well being above our own, we learn to be selfless and this gives a sense of true happiness. This does not mean we have to go around giving money to street beggars. Our service to be others shouldn’t be ostentatious. We give most help by merely offering our good will and looking for the best in others.
Non-Judgemental
We make life hard by being so judgemental. We should be less judgemental and be more of an observer. We should observe if we like a part of ourselves. If we notice we are prone to depression or anger, make the conscious decision to reject that part of yourself. See it as a passing emotion that doesn’t reflect your true self, instead choose something positive.
Meditate and Concentrate
Thought has great power. But, silence has even more power. If we can still the mind and enter into silence, we can get in touch with the deeper part of our self. This silent self has a connection to the underlying cosmic spirit, and this is the most effective way to create a more fulfilling and positive experience.
Related
Photo, Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Judgemental People
We are constantly judging other people, our self and situations. It can feel like life is a constant reality TV show with a panel of judges always in evidence. But, the judgemental nature of the mind, will neither give us peace or happiness. To attain a real inner peace, we have to go far beyond the judgemental game of inferiority and superiority.
We Suffer
When we judge others, it’s hard to not have a feeling (consciously or unconsciously) of superiority / pride. When we judge others we lower our own consciousness.
“If we judge others with our unlit human mind, with the intellectual mind, with the sophisticated mind, the persons whom we judge do not lose an iota of their achievement, of their reality. But we lose. How do we lose? When we start doubting others, we offer something of our own existence to the outer world something of our own reality goes and eventually we become very weak.”
- Sri Chinmoy (1)
We may be Wrong.
When judging others we are often judging only a small part of their nature. It may even be second hand information. We may hear someone’s opinion and take it as gospel. But, who is to say they haven’t put their own slant and perspective on the other person. Even when we seem someone first hand we may misunderstand their motives or inner attitude. We can never know what is going on inside a person. Every is fighting their own battles and trying to be a better person in their own way. We cannot expect every to be at the stage of sainthood in this incarnation.
How would we want to be judged?
When we do something good, of course, we want the whole world to know about it. But, when we do something bad or unfortunate we would really like it to be kept quiet. If we take delight in people’s misfortunes then it is a big mistake, and it is likely to happen to us.
Be Sympathetic
When we see someone doing something wrong, we can feel that this is something we could be doing wrong ourselves. Ironically, when we criticise faults in others, we often have the same faults ourselves. If we remember we are as prone to misjudgement and doing the wrong thing then it gives us more compassion and understanding.
Be supportive not critical.
Judging others rarely helps to change others behaviour for the better. Being supportive can change.
Concentrate on Being Happy.
When we get bogged down in judging others, we wont gain much happiness. Happiness comes from enjoying the good things in life, not in giving sermons on the failings of the world.
Look Upon People as an Extended Family.
If someone close to us does something wrong we are more willing to forgive and see their better qualities. When judging friends or work colleagues see them as an extended part of your self / family, this will give us a more sympathetic approach.
Being Right Isn’t the Most Important Thing.
In judging others, there is a strong desire to be right and show others as wrong. But life isn’t all about being right. It’s about quietly making a positive contribution.
Judge Only Yourself.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye” Matthew 7:3
If we have to judge, why not judge yourself and see how you can improve yourself as a person? Don’t make the mistake of blaming your difficulties on others. Difficulties come from some defect in our own character.
Some people are very judgemental. They have a habit of making us feel small / guilty. It also encourages us to be judgemental in response. We either seek to defend ourselves or start judging others – joining in their game of judging people.
It can also be difficult to disagree with judgemental people, as they often can have deep conviction in their beliefs.
The best way of dealing with judgemental people is not to directly challenge them, but, allow them to go their way, whilst we maintain our quiet approach. Don’t worry about having the last word or defending yourself. If they are really making unfair criticisms of friends, you can always point to their good qualities. But, you are unlikely to change their nature so don’t expect too much.
Related
(1) Warriors of the Inner World by Sri Chinmoy
Photo Top, Tejvan, New College, Oxford
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Different Types of Prayer
Prayer is said to be an act of communication between yourself and the Divine. It can be expressed in words, feelings or actions. In particular, prayer usually involves requesting a certain boon. In one sense we are praying all the time, it is just that there are many different levels and types of prayer; we may not even class it as prayer, but just hold various wishes and desires that we would like to come true.
Prayer can vary from the purely selfish ‘O Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedez-Benz’ to the lofty utterance of Christ ‘Not my will but thine be done’. Here are some different types of prayer from the lowest to the highest.
Bring Other People Down.
It is a sad fact of human nature that sometimes we are more concerned with bringing people down, and not concentrating on our own upliftment. This kind of prayer is usually motivated out of jealousy or insecurity. Here we wish to see others fail and remain unfulfilled. Usually we wouldn’t dignify this kind of wish with the term prayer, but it may be a belief we secretly hold.
Poor Me Prayer
Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion.
~Jonathan Swift
Another type of prayer is to half wish for something, but have a strong feeling we don’t deserve to get it. For example, we may pray to have successful relationships with other people, but at the same time we hold thought patterns that are self-destructive for relationships. We pray for harmony in our dealing with others, but lack the self-belief and inner happiness to make it a reality. Here we would be better of praying to overcome the root cause and not merely a symptom. It also brings to mind the old Indian proverb
Call on God, but row away from the rocks
In other words, it is good to pray, but we also have to make sure we avoid having the wrong attitude.
Material Wealth
This is a simple prayer for material wealth, and success in the outer life. We feel that, if only, we can get that car, new job or material security then we will be happy. This is the kind of prayer that may or not be answered. But, the richest person on earth may be completely bankrupt of inner peace. It is often the case that when we get a new car, it isn’t long before we would like the next best model or another car; there is no end to this kind of prayer.
Pray for Health.
Often humans only pray when we are in great danger. Bad luck and bad health is a powerful reminder that even the most powerful person on earth can’t be entirely self-sufficient. To pray for good health is good. When we are sick and suffering, we tend to be more unhappy; to have good health helps us to be in a better consciousness and make progress. However, we can never know or not whether this prayer will work. Sometimes our soul may want to have certain experiences, sometimes it may be God’s Will for someone to leave the body. We cannot stay on earth forever. To make progress, the soul may need to depart the body. Therefore, it is best to pray for good health and a long life, but also with detachment. We pray to be healthier, but if we cannot regain full health we should also pray for the right attitude to deal with the illness. Then our physical illness can be an opportunity to make progress and not just a source of frustration.
Spiritual Qualities.
This is a prayer for inner qualities. It is not for anything in the material world. But, for peace, love and joy. It is a prayer to be aware of our deeper sense of self. It is a prayer of spiritual aspiration that will help us face any situation we are in.
Meditation
In prayer we speak to God, and try to ask for something; there is a feeling we lack and need more. In meditation, we list to God. We keep our mind and emotions still, we try to be aware of the vast Consciousness within. In a way meditation is a form of prayer because we are selflessly growing into that which we would pray. Prayer and meditation are like two sides of the same coin, each ultimately going to the same destination.
“When we pray, we ask God for what we want. But when we meditate, God showers on us everything that we need.”
- Sri Chinmoy
Not my will but thine be done.
Sri Chinmoy says the loftiest prayer was uttered by the Saviour Christ ‘Not my will but thine be done.’ [Luke 22:42] In this prayer we wish to become one with God’s will, with God’s consciousness. It is an awareness that if we can become one with our Source, then we will lack for nothing and all our prayers will be answered. We tend to be nervous of wholeheartedly offering this prayer. We feel that God’s Will will impinge on our freedom, but the great mystics and saints teach that only when we attain self-realisation, (Nirvana, God Realisation, Salvation) can we really experience the real bliss of being.
They say that prayer is the daughter of suffering.
But I say that prayer is the mother of delight
- Sri Chinmoy
Related
Artwork top:
Vilas Silverton, Bristol Sri Chinmoy Centre. Bookmark and Share with others These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
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Letting Go of the The Past
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
- Lao Tzu
There are many things we need to do. One of them is letting go of our unfortunate mistakes, habits, thoughts and experiences. At times we also need to let go of other people, we need to move on from the past and look towards the future. If we hang onto the unfortunate experiences of the past, this is what we will carry forward into the present. There is a well known story of the Zen monk who wanted to know why he couldn’t gain enlightenment. His Master replied – how can a full cup be filled up? To fill a cup with honey, we must first empty the water from the cup. It is the same with enlightenment, we have to let go of what is in our mind, for new, enlightening experiences to enter in.
Letting Go of Bad Habits
There are many things that we cling onto out of habit, which really don’t help. Sometimes we have a habit that we don’t really want, but part of us still clings to it. It is like the camel continuing to eat thorns, even though it is causing camel pain. We fail to make a complete break because subtly we have a lingering attachment. If we resolve to get rid of a negative habit like being jealous of other people, we have to make it complete. Just because we always do something doesn’t mean that a) it is a good thing to do b) we are compelled to do it. Look at our daily activities and see what we would be happy to change.
Things we Have No Control of.
Many things happen in life, that we can in no way influence. It may be the behaviour of other people, it may be events in society, even our own government. Having these problems revolve around in our mind will change nothing, except to make us unhappy at our perceived helplessness and misfortune. These are the kind of things we have to let go of. This is not indifference to problems in society, it is just realising what we can and can’t do.
Letting Go of The Past.
To think of the past
Is indeed a painful task.
To carry the past
Is indeed a fruitless burden.
- Sri Chinmoy (1)
Something that has happened in the past we cannot change. If we carry unfortunate experiences around in our mind, it is like a heavy weight that clouds our state of mind and makes life a struggle. To let go of the past, and enable new experiences to enter is the most positive approach. Even if the past is good, we shouldn’t feel that this former experience is the pinnacle of our life. This can breed a complacency and make us just yearn to hold onto the ‘golden days’. We have to keep moving forward looking for an even brighter future.
The Inevitability of Change.
Whether we like it or not, life will unmistakably teach us the inevitability of change. We have no choice but to let go of things. We will lose ou physical capacities; we will lose friends, family, money – anything can be lost at any moment. However, change is not a bad thing if we are cheerful and accept it as part of life. Human nature is to seek improvement and new experiences. If everything were to remain static, we would get bored and life would feel stifled. We would never be able to realise our potential.
Mind’s Preconceptions.
If we analyse our mind and the thoughts that come, we will soon feel there are many things that are good to let go of. Not least, our preconceptions and pre-judgements of other people. Our mind can be very bad at projecting false motives onto other people. If we can let go of these, we will be much happier (and better people)
It is one thing to know we should let go of thoughts and experiences, but, human nature is to cling onto things, even when it causes suffering and cannot help. Firstly, we have to make a clear decision to let go of our thought / habit. It is no good if part of us wants to let go, but part of us still wants to hold on.
Looking forward.
To let go of the past is much easier when we spend our energies cultivating a better future, living in the present moment. If we are active in a positive way, we don’t have time to dwell on the past.
Don’t Fight Nature.
Nature and life are always in a state of flux. We need to realise this world is fleeting and ephemeral, change is inevitable. But, do we always want to stay exactly where we are? There is nothing to fear about moving forward. Life is nothing if not a journey of discovery.
Real Love / Attachment.
We often mistake love for clinging onto people. But, this is just emotional attachment. Real love is compatible with letting go on an external level. The real, all embracing love, does not have to be confined to certain people and small areas of the past.
Related
(1) Ten Thousand Flower Flames Part 63 by Sri Chinmoy
Photo by Pranlobha, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries
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Monday, January 10, 2011
Mistakes in Relationships
Our relationship with other people is an intrinsic part of our life, yet, despite its importance, we often repeat the same mistakes throughout our life. If we avoid these mistakes in relationships, we will find them much more harmonious and fulfilling.
Some Common mistakes.
Trying to Change the Other
In society we often have an expression ‘When you get married, she’ll make you into a good man…’ At this prospect, we either shudder or laugh; but for many people they find themselves in relationships where there is a persistent attempt to mould and change the other person. When we try to change another person we invariably create friction and resentment, and push the other person away from us. Also, when we try to change the other person, it is often merely a surrogate for changing our own attitude. The difference is we cannot be responsible for another person, but we can change our own thoughts and behaviour. We can point out certain things, we can try and inspire the other person, but it has to be with the understanding that only he can make the change. Don’t hold onto the thought that the relationship will be successful, just as soon as you can change the other person; it will never happen.
Possessiveness
“What is love? If love means possessing someone or something then that is not real love; that is not pure love. If love means giving and becoming one with everything, with humanity and divinity, then that is real love. “
- Sri Chinmoy
The world is filled with romantic notions that we will love a person for eternity, and nothing will impinge on this love. We feel that love and joy are limited and we need to protect our access to it. This sense of possessiveness easily creates jealousy and insecurity. We become jealous if anyone gets close. We become insecure we may lose the other person. Possessiveness is not healthy; it restricts relationships and makes them tense. It is important to have confidence in your self. Don’t feel your existence requires the presence of a certain person. You have to feel you are complete with or without other people. It is the nature of all human relationships that they are transitory; they may last one week or ninety years, but ultimately they come and go. All relationships are an opportunity to make progress and know more about ourselves. Don’t worry about holding onto someone, worry about becoming a better person.
Trying to Please
This may seem a paradox because we feel to make a relationship work we need to try and please the other person. Surely, it is good to think of the other person? The problem comes when we have to change who we are in order to try and please them (in the way we think will please him). The first problem is that we feel uncomfortable trying to be someone we are not, and our friend will pick up on this. Also, trying to please the other is difficult because how can we really know what he really wants? This does not mean we act in a selfish way. But, the basis of a good relationship has to be from a starting point of being true to ourself. If we are sincerely happy then we will be able to make the relationship work. If we feel unhappy and ill at ease – trying to be someone we are not – then the relationship is based on false pretences and is liable to problems.
Expectation
“Love sought is good, but given unsought is better”
- William Shakespeare,
In human love we give to the other person, but expect something in return. When we love in a divine way, when we love unconditionally, – we give without expecting anything in return. When we give with expectation, we suffer frustration because our expectations are not met. When we love unconditionally, we can be joyful however the other person responds.
Brooding not Communicating
We sometimes feel that relationships should be perfect and any problem is a sign of weakness or failure on our part. Therefore, we tend to try and give the impression everything is fine, when actually it isn’t. This causes us to brood and not communicate. When we brood we inwardly think negative thoughts, and inwardly criticise the other person. This is not healthy as the negative thoughts can go round in circles and reinforce the previous problems. It is much better to communicate in a constructive way; explain why you feel unhappy for this particular situation. Don’t make the other person feel guilty, but share how your friendship could be improved. Try to let little things go, but we do need to communicate before our mind magnifies a small issue and becomes a big misunderstanding.
Judging
When we judge there is a feeling of inferiority or superiority, and guilt or pride. If we spend our time judging, the relationship will never be harmonious. This doesn’t mean that we can never point out flaws and mistakes; a healthy relationship needs this. However, we can always act in a non-judgemental way. When we point out mistakes we can do it without making the person feel inferior. Rather than judging, our relationship will be made stronger by forgiving.
If we really want to love
we must learn how to forgive.
- Mother Teresa
When we judge, we separate. Love is a feeling of oneness. We can feel we are just judging ourselves.
Related
Photo: Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries Bookmark and Share with others These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
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Overcoming Weaknesses
June 3rd, 2010 | life | Posted by tejvan -
Sometimes it feels quite easy to write what you want you should do. In fact, when you write everything down the task of self-improvement looks quite easy! But, alas, knowing what to do is only part of the problem. Even when we have resolved what we want to do, part of our human nature can cling to its old habits, emotions and thought patterns. Even when we no longer want to pursue a certain emotion, it still can come to the fore despite our mental rejection.
Sometimes, it can feel like there are two parts to our self. There is the one positive part aspiring for a better consciousness. At times we glimpse this and feel a sincere happiness. At other times, we can feel overpowered by some undesirable aspect of our nature.
The first thing to bear in mind, is that everyone has this experience of making a few steps forward and a few steps backwards. It is necessary to accept our transformation takes time. – See: Changing yourself by accepting yourself. It is often just when we think we have made great progress and overcome some emotion like anger, that it re-appears out of nowhere and takes us by surprise. Human nature does take a long time to transform. But, when we experience the stubbornness of our own nature, it is important to bear in mind a few things.
Don’t be depressed or mad with yourself for a temporary relapse. By becoming depressed over our weaknesses, we only strengthen them. A feeling of guilt or despondency is also very unhelpful. If we see it is a inevitable step in our self improvement then it loses much of its power. See: Avoiding Self PityAt the same time, we must distance ourselves from this emotion. We shouldn’t give it any mental support. By distancing ourselves from our negative emotion, it helps us to detach and slowly the experience will dissipate.A quiet but firm resolve to overcome any difficulty is the most effective way of quickly overcoming them. We should avoid elation at a good experience and despondency at depressing experiences. But, we do need flexibility and a willingness to give up old thought patterns and habitual responses.I enjoy peace
Only when I am not afraid
Of changing my stubborn mind.
- Sri Chinmoy (1)
Don’t Over Analyse / focus on your Negative Qualities. The best way to overcome negative qualities is simply to aspire for more light and concentrate on doing the right thing.Any experience is an opportunity to transcend the quality we want to. We need to maintain a careful balance between self criticism and self encouragementRelated
(1) Excerpt from Peace-Blossom-Fragrance, Part 1 by Sri Chinmoy
photo Tejvan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries.
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Yoga and Self Improvement
sunriseYoga is the ancient art of Self-Discovery, and Self-Realisation. Yoga is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘Union with God’, – ‘Union with the Highest consciousness’. When we talk of Self-Realisation, it means realising the divine nature of our Higher Self, our Inner Pilot. A Buddhist may call it entering into Nirvana, a Hindu may talk of liberation / God-realisation. Ultimately, it is a state of consciousness beyond name and form and the limitations of the mental world. The Upanishads talks of ‘Sat Chid Ananda’ – Existence, Consciousness, Bliss – Our highest Self – a being of pure delight.
Such ideas may seem very far from our present state! Given the limitations of our mind and nature, a consciousness of unbridled delight and peace seem a far cry. Most of us would settle for just a little bit more peace, a little bit more joy. But, the highest teachings of yoga tell us that there is no end to our inner self-transcendence. – All we need to do is realise the divinity within.
In the West, yoga often invokes images of hatha yoga – difficult postures for calming the physical being and gaining greater peace of mind. But, hatha yoga is only one small aspect of the ancient path of yoga. There is also.
Bhatki yoga – the path of love and devotion. Bhakti yoga doesn’t worry about philosophical discourse and explanations, it merely seeks to love. It is not a human love based on possession and expectation. But, a divine, universal love without expectation or sense of possession.Jnana yoga – the path of wisdom – gaining true insight into our real being; a wisdom which is much more than intellectual understanding. A wisdom that comes from knowing our deepest soul through meditation.Karma Yoga – the path of action. Making progress through selfless service to the rest of humanity. It is selfless service without expectation of reward, recognition. It is egoless work done with detachment to the outcome.Yoga means we make a conscious effort to transform our consciousness. It means facing upto and transcending our weakness. It requires a faith in God, or at least a faith in our self. It requires patience and persistence and the ability to remain focused on our self-improvement.
Patience, Perseverance.
Patience is sometimes viewed as a negative, or at least static thing. But true patience means ignoring the demands of the ego and accepting the transformation of nature which inevitably takes time. It is a mistake to think the path of yoga is about austerity and a bed of thorns. To seek our real self, is the most rewarding thing we can undertake. But, neither is it an easy downhill path with everything done for us. But, nothing worthwhile is without trials and challenges. We cannot give up at the first hurdle, but must remain committed to yoga, however, bumpy it is. How to be more patient
Enthusiasm.
To make progress in any aspect of life, we need an enthusiastic attitude. It is the same with yoga, we can make the fastest progress only when we value and are enthusiastic about the goal. See: Enthusiasm
Honesty / Self Appraisal.
In yoga we need to overcome the ego. The justifications and excuse of our ego, just make our journey longer. See balance between self-criticism and self-encouragement
Inner Strength.
Yoga is not for the feint hearted, sometimes, you need to go against the prevailing way of the world. We cannot allow ourselves to be sucked into materialistic goals. Yoga doesn’t negate the outer life, but, seeks to give a proper balance between inner wealth and outer wealth. This needs an inner strength to be true to our inner calling.
Simplicity
Sometimes it is the simplest things which matter in yoga. A sincere smile, doing something with love, doing something selflessly – outwardly it may not sound much but it can make a big difference in yoga.
Each smile
Is a radical
Self-improvement.
photo: Sri Chinmoy Centre Gallery
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Sunday, January 9, 2011
Why Life is Painful
Nobody likes to suffer but, consciously or unconsciously, we sometimes invite suffering and pain. It is one of the paradox of human nature, we profess to want happiness, but part of us holds onto suffering. Why is this the case?
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.”
- Sophocles
How Do We Invite Suffering?
Unconsciously Cherishing Suffering.
This can be hard to admit, but sometimes we can a subtle sense of attachment to our suffering. There is part of us that feels we need this experience of suffering. We feel sorry for ourself, yet this has a certain appeal to the ego; it gives us a (false) sense of identity.
Cry For Help. When we suffer part of us imagines it will attract sympathy and attention from other people.
“Most people don’t mind suffering in silence as long as everyone else knows about it.”
- Croft M Pentz,
By displaying our suffering it is really a call for help, however, if we get attached to this sympathy and attachment, it can unconsciously encourage us to create a degree of suffering. However, we need to learn that we don’t need to create suffering to feel loved. See: Difference between Love and Emotional Attachment.
The Mind’s Conditioning. We often associate certain people, events or situations with an unpleasant experience. Whenever a particular event happens we feel we have to suffer. Now admittedly some things really are painful, if we hold a hand over the fire, it will hurt and no amount of positive thinking will change the fact your hand is burning. But, in many cases, it is the mind’s reaction that creates 90% of suffering. This is particularly the case when dealing with other people. For example, we may feel it painful to have to deal with a certain person. However, this is the kind of event that we can change. Rather than fearing the other person we can change the way we think about that relationship. If we don’t allow ourselves to think of negative thoughts, we can be happy whatever the character of the other person.
Do not overvalue
Your suffering-world.
Lo, it will vanish
Even faster
Than you can open your eyes.
- Sri Chinmoy
Repeating the Same Experience
Have you noticed how often we invite the same experience again and again? It can almost become a daily routine. We get up, and we get annoyed with some one living in the house over the same thing. We go to work and we get annoyed with the same work-colleague for the same character flaw. There seems no escape because the particular experience always triggers the same feeling of anger, frustration and helplessness.
We can try moving to the Himalayas, but we will carry the same reaction and feelings with us. Even if we don’t see the situation in the physical, the mind may dwell on the same thought patterns. We will find it gets repeated where ever we go. We cannot change the event and person, we can only change our reaction to it. We have to learn how to stop our negative thoughts, whatever other people might be doing.
Deeper Seed Thoughts.
On the surface level we may have thoughts, such as, I want to get better, I want to be happy. But, what about the deeper thoughts underneath? Do we visualise a life without suffering and happiness or do we expect life to be a struggle and painful?
Suffering and Progress.
Part of us may feel that if we suffer, somehow we are making progress. It is considered desirable to ‘suffer in silence’. Sometimes religion has promoted suffering as noble in itself. However, suffering doesn’t help. When we suffer, we feel miserable; our consciousness descends, and when we are unhappy we tend to invite negative things into our life. When we have unavoidable pain like physical illness, it is good to try and be detached and not make a big deal of it. We have to deal with it in right way.; but, sometimes we think if we have more suffering we will make more progress, but this is not correct. When we suffer we don’t make any progress. We make progress when happy. Bookmark and Share with others These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
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